The Big Dreamer

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Image Courtesy of Wavy1

I can’t remember where I saw it. But the following comment was what I came across while reading some blogs or forum online:

Positive thinking doesn’t pay the mortgage.
Positive thinking doesn’t pay the bills and put food on your table.

Well… obviously the person who left the comment doesn’t believe in Positive Thinking (at least, that’s what it seems to me).

I think people who don’t believe in Positive Thinking have totally missed the point. But who can blame them? They have probably been misled into thinking that it is enough to turn their lives around simply by having positive thoughts (hint: The Secret).

I agree that the message being conveyed in the movie ‘The Secret’ can be very misleading. The general message the movie is trying to tell us is: If you want to attract what you want in life, you have to constantly think about what it is that you want, and you will start seeing them appearing in your life. So, it seems all you need to do to dramatically change your life is simply to think about it!

Although it sounds incredible, one needs to understand that your success in life does indeed begin with the way you think. Let me explain why.

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Image Courtesy of Tony the Misfit

Influence is at the core of everything.

Employers influence employees to be productive. Parents influence children to do their chores. Children influence parents to get what they want!

The power of influence can be learnt and developed into an art form. Just promise to use it only for good!

Here are 25 ways to influence others:

1. Know What You Want

What is your purpose in influencing others? In order to persuade others, you must have the end in mind.

2. Hypnotise

Not literally, but through your charm and speech patterns. Remember that people want to please someone they admire and respect.

3. Pay Them

Money is always a motivator, isn’t it? It may be the easiest and quickest way to get what you want, but it sure can get expensive.

4. Reason With Them

Explain your position. Focus on the answer to their burning question: “What’s in it for me?”

5. Compromise

Getting someone to do what you want often involves communication and negotiation. This is where you can take the “I’ll scratch your back and you scratch mine” approach.

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Image Courtesy of SashaW

More often than not, how we feel about ourselves is based largely on how we think other people – especially those important to us – feel about us.

Therefore, other people’s opinions of us have a direct and major influence on our level of self-acceptance and self-esteem. The better they think of us, the better we can accept ourselves and the more confident we feel about ourselves, and vice versa.

In the past, I had been very concerned about what other people think of me too. However, over the years, I found that at times, this characteristic was not doing my self-esteem any good because there are just some people who have a propensity to criticise but never willing to give encouragement.

People will never stop making and passing judgments on you because that is human nature. It is a habit of all human beings. Some of these could be good, some could be bad. Nevertheless, we tend to pay more attention to the bad than the good.

But a few years ago, I’ve learnt how to not allow these judgments to affect me because they could be extremely detrimental.

I looked myself in the mirror one day and told myself that, “People will always judge you based on what you have done or achieved.

But instead of judging yourself based on other people’s judgments of you, you have to learn to judge yourself based on what you believe you’re capable of achieving.

You don’t need anyone to tell you how your future is going to turn out. You will decide how your own future is going to turn out.”

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Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Amber Hensley of OnlineUniversities.com.

When our professional, academic and personal goals suffer setbacks, it’s natural to want to give up, at least temporarily. Frustration, anger, hurt, and even depression may take over for a little while, but if you want to achieve any kind of success in life, you’ve got to learn how to not only accept your setbacks but also learn from them.

Here are 10 tips for reworking your goals after failing the first time.

1. Understand how your goals are affected. Have you experienced a minor setback that won’t even matter in a week, or do you feel like everything you’ve worked for has been destroyed? Decide how serious your setback is to your long-term goal, and start rebuilding from there.

2. Accept blame if need be. Be honest with yourself, and if you’re able to recognise any mistakes that you made along the way, it will be that much easier to do better next time.

3. Compromise. Compromise doesn’t just help you get along with people in the short-term: the challenge to compromise also promises a new way of looking at something, which can help you become more innovative in the long-term.

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Image Courtesy of Xose Castro

Successful people often say that it was their drive to keep going, despite the desire to quit, that drove them to successful heights in their business or careers. That sentiment perfectly sums up the “I can” attitude.

In other words, even though the odds may be against you, keeping a positive mindset can give you the mental push and energy you need to stick to your plan and build your life the way you intended.

If you develop a negative “I can’t” attitude, it can pervade nearly every situation you’re in. It can affect your business plans, career track, or even personal family or social situations.

If you keep telling yourself you can’t do things, eventually you’ll believe yourself and you’ll lose the desire to even try.

Have you ever wanted to attend an event or party, but chose not to go because you didn’t know anyone? Was there ever an incredible opportunity to explore your passion, but you refused out of fear?

In these situations, you need to face your fears, attack that negative attitude, and say “I can” – especially if there are distinct benefits that could help your business or personal life.

Instead of getting discouraged by setbacks or failure, think about your abilities and strengths, then push ahead!

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